Thursday, May 2

We are in Lake Havasu City, Arizona. So many things are passing through my mind right now. We have been busy here, installing a new monitor system and doing general maintenance and repair on the existing system. Their video camera died, so we gave them ours - it doesn’t record anymore so it is of no use to us… it is plenty good to broadcast to the mother’s room and nursery.

Tonight was rehearsal for the Sunday Worship Team. And what a rehearsal it was!!! Emotions were high and both Jeff and Larry (Worship Leader) were amazing!!! They kept their focus on Jesus and managed to get everyone in the band comfortable and satisfied…however, it was a long evening!

Something else.

My heart is so full of love for women, those of us who are struggling with God’s plan for our lives and our marriages. Learning to submit and become the wives that God desires is so difficult and it is so incredibly rewarding!! In any event, oftentimes I meet women who are just powerhouses - who despite their obvious love of the Lord, are struggling.

I met one here.

My heart was moved to share with her my story of submission and obedience, and relate it to what I observed in her. She got really mad. It was really difficult.

I cried many tears after speaking with her, I talked about the experience with the Pastor’s wife and with Kathy in Tucson, trying to gain perspective. Everywhere I turned I felt God’s reassurance that my words to this young woman were right, that my doctrine was sound and that I had been obedient to the Holy Spirit by sharing with this woman.

Then…. Amazingly, the next morning, this young woman apologized. What I have learned from this fine young woman is huge!! First, I learned that I need to be obedient to the Holy Spirit first and foremost. That it is God’s call on my life to share with women about this scary thing called… submission.

Second, I learned that this young woman - a strong, intelligent and godly woman - is led by God and is so in love with Jesus, that her “self” is secondary. Her humility and gentleness are models of God’s Grace. Her response - to her own anger (at me!!!) - was amazing. I pray that when I am in the same situation, I will handle it with the same Grace and Love.

Finally, as I sat in the back of the sanctuary tonight after all the rehearsals were done, after the tensions of the evening wore away, and after the young woman’s husband had gently rebuked me for upsetting his wife, tears welled in my eyes.

My heart is so full that it is nearly overflowing. I looked at all the wonderful and loving people that God has allowed us to fellowship with, learn from and love… they are such a gift. In all our years, living in Mission Viejo, never did I feel the love for others as I do now. Never, did I feel such fellowship and love, as I do now.

We are so amazingly and eternally blessed. God has given us a family of brothers and sisters whose love for our King is on their lips and in their hearts. He has brought us into the homes and hearts of so many of his children.

And I am so grateful.

Friday, May 10

We have been very busy this month…traveled all over northern Arizona! Our travels took us to:

Lake Havasu - TOO Much fun!!!

Bullhead City - VERY dusty - what is this the desert??

Kingman - a different place

Black Canyon City - Beautiful and quaint little town nestled in the hills.

Today we are back in Tempe, helping out again at TriCity Calvary Chapel. I have a used book sale (home schooling) to check out early tomorrow morning. Kurt is going to accompany me as we are searching for books for his historical literature class for next year! On Wednesday we go back to Goodyear, AZ for the Arizona Worship Conference.

It’s a busy month.

Sunday, May 12

Today is Mother’s Day. I am so blessed to have three beautiful and amazing children. They bless my heart and my spirit. After church, they each presented me with cards they had made themselves. The girls even made a little wall hanging with embroidery - even little Eve helped with the sewing.

Grace has been difficult these last few weeks. She is transforming in front of my very eyes into a young woman. As with any transformation, there is pain. She vacillates from being an adorable little girl to a confused young woman… not sure what is happening to her emotions and her body. She is being molded and changed.

This is not without pain for me as well. I am alternatively her wonderful mommy and her enemy … I never know from one moment to the next, where she will be or who I am to her at that moment. I strive to consistently love her, although it is difficult sometimes to be gentle and loving with an angry and raging young woman!!

Grace wrote for me the following as her mother’s day gift:

My Person

“Once there was a person, just a normal person. But then one day she had a baby girl, that baby girl grew and grew to an eleven year-old girl. That girl was so happy, so filled with joy, because she had a person.

She went through hard times, but her person was always there for her. The girl was selfish and mad, but her person always still loved her.

Then they moved, from their home, their family, their friends and the girl thought… What will I do? I’ll be alone… but she had her person.

Then came the day to leave, the girl was sad and cried in her empty room, crying for her loss of her friends, her family, her things. But her person was there to comfort her and show her that there was more to life. That the girl wasn’t the center of the universe.

Her person taught her God’s love and told her to leave herself. The girl listened, it changed the girls life. The girl grew in her faith, she grew to love God as her Savior, her best friend. And she has a joy that she just can’t explain... It’s bigger than anything in her world.

And she had her person to thank. Her person was strong in her faith, and always looked to God in hard times. It was an example for the girl. Her person was the best example.

Her person is her Mom, her wonderful Mom. Whose hugs are just so filled with joy. And she is so happy today to have her very own person!”

 

How can I ever want more than this? How can I ever thank God for the gift He has given me in my daughter Grace? She is amazing and I am humbled by her love and her sweet soul.

Thank you Lord for giving me this precious child, my Grace… the child of my heart and a sister in You.

Tuesday, May 21

Why is it that I have such trouble in Tucson? Yes, we are back in Tucson… once again. After leaving Tempe last week, we then headed to Goodyear to participate in the Worship Conference over the weekend. After the Worship Conference we are here in Tucson for a few days then we will head to California to visit family and to attend the Senior Pastors Conference.

Trouble in Tucson! We arrived yesterday, planning to spend a day relaxing and resting. It has been a very, very long month. With nary a day of rest - literally we have worked non stop since we left Lake Havasu.

But I digress.

My son in growing up. And in this process of growing up he and his Dad are developing a different relationship. A friendship between men. And I feel left out. They trade those secret little smiles and knowing looks. And my heart cries out… what about me.

Very self-centered of me … I know.

I know that Jeff has some learning here to do as well, how to balance his friendship with the other man in our family (Kurt) and still maintain his primary relationship (me). It must be fun to have another man to share things with - although Kurt is still new to his manhood and sometimes (often) slips back into being a child.

I wonder how it will be when Grace begins to grow into her adulthood. I will remember this time and ensure that I do not grieve Jeff…because it is hard to be the one outside.

I shared all this with Jeff yesterday, I think he understands.

So, yesterday was a day of trial… but we made it through. Thank God for Calvary Chapel Tucson. They always give us a place to park, a refuge. We are once again parked next to the youth building. We decided to come to Tucson to celebrate Kurt’s birthday - he will be 14 on Monday.

Although I think we will have already made it to California by then…we’ll see.

Friday, May 31

Well, we made it to California last Friday (May 24)!!! What a terrific time it has been! We were able to celebrate Kurt’s birthday on Labor Day (Monday) with the whole extended family! It was great to be with everyone!

God is so amazing.

As you know, our finances are provided by the Lord. Most times we live as the Israelites - God providing our manna day by day… never more than we need, never less. Well, here we were… the end of May with TWO, count ‘em… TWO birthdays to celebrate (Kurt 5/27 and Eve 6/2).

As it is our family custom now, not to do much in the way of presents for Christmas, yet to really celebrate birthday’s with a big bang… we were in the position to need some major cash to purchase all the goodies for gifts and a party for Eve.

God knows this.

Our amazing Lord, made sure that we had plenty of money to purchase gifts and to bless our children for their birthdays!! And when the birthdays are over… well, we are right back to where we always are… just enough to cover our needs on a day by day basis….

Nothing more and certainly nothing less.

Isn’t God good?!!! He loves us so very much… you and me. He loves us and knows what our needs are, He provides for our family… He is waiting and ready to provide for all who rest in him, those who dedicate their lives and their hearts to Him.

The King of Kings.

Our amazing Lord.

Trust in Him… he’s waiting for you.

“I will praise you, O Lord my God, with all my heart;

I will glorify your name forever.

For great is your love toward me;

You have delivered me from the depths of the grave.”

Psalm 86:11-13

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